It has been a while since I posted and it is mainly because of the chaos around Cheer leading schedules, family commitments, work and trying to do it all. I end up prioritizing things on my list and well the blog update kept falling down the list.

If you are not a Prince fan, we can no longer be friends.  Just kidding, kinda.  I don’t watch the Grammy’s mainly because I rarely watch TV.  But I did see the highlights and watched the highlights from the Prince tributes. Prince was my childhood crush.  I had this poster and many others on my bedroom wall. As you can imagine my dad was thrilled. I can remember him saying “He’s a fruitcake’. But I grew up and have fond memories of all his songs being a part of my teen years and early adult years.  The proof is in my yearbooks where every one of them my BFF and I would write the ending lyrics to Let’s Pretend We’re Married:

Whatever you heard about me is true
I change the rules and do what I want to do
I’m in love with God, he’s the only way
‘Cause you and I know we gotta die someday
If you think I’m crazy, you’re probably right
But I’m gonna have fun every motherfuckin’ night
If you like to fight, you’re a double-drag fool
I’m goin’ to another life, how ’bout you?

As I look back at what I was listening to when I was 12 (almost Hunter’s age) was not the best thing for me to be listening to.  I did and my love for him never faded. I was able to go see him in concert with my sister in law, Helen, and that is one memory I cherish now that he is gone.

‘Cause you and I know we gotta die someday

The past few weeks I have been having reminders to not take things for granted.  Phyllis is a reminder daily when I don’t want to work out or that I am so tired and I think that she would love to be physical and active so I suck it up and just do it. I also had my cousin, Rhonda, come home for a visit because a relative is close to the end of her life and it reminded me that we have to keep in touch with those that are far away because time is short and I missed her so much. Spending time with someone that you were close to and haven’t seen in forever is food for a weary and tired mind and heart. Also seeing how Phyllis reacted to her Florida friends coming for a surprise visit is priceless. Finally, I was reminded again, that the time is precious and can be cut short with the passing of a young boy, Nicholas, who was Savannah’s brother, Hunter’s former classmate.

If you think I’m crazy, you’re probably right

I know there are times where life is just a big whirlwind. Waking up, doing breakfasts, making lunches, going to work, dropping kids off at school, leaving work to pick up kids from practice, coming home to do dinner and homework and by the time you get a free moment, it’s time to get ready for bed. Sound Familiar? But I have been trying really hard to take some of the moments between those events, like in the truck, or during dinner, to just enjoy the little things.  I think all of you have seen or heard the story about the teacher and ‘The Jar of life’  so I took that lesson and decided to make it part of my New Year’s resolution. Since the beginning of the new year, I made a resolution, I know we all do it, but so far I have been working really hard to keep this one and I have been successful.  Now I know, we are only 2 months into the new year so let’s see how long I can keep it up.:) Here it is:

• Shut down from work at 5pm. So I won’t lie here. I will reply to an email IF it is something I can reply to in a short time. Also, if there is something I had to get out that day that cannot wait till the next morning I will do it, but so far nothing has been that important that it couldn’t wait.
• Weekly walks with my mom. With all the issues we have had going on with Phyllis and my dad, it has made me appreciate my mom’s health and her time left with us.  My mom is a healthy, kind, feisty and an opinionated little Korean woman. She isn’t going anywhere any time soon if she has her way. She has no problem telling me what she thinks and I appreciate that (most of the time!). But I recognized that I am lucky to have her and Phyllis, as my bonus mom. I need to make the most of our time and the walks help just de-stress and catch up.
• Dinners with Hunter. I have made it a mission to make sure Hunter knows some basic life skills. One is cooking.  The bonus to this is she makes some pretty darn good dinners and lets be honest, the second is I don’t have to cook dinner. She helps me plan the weekly meals and its good to have her input so she is happy to make it and eat it too. Shameless plug here, Hello Fresh has made this super easy for an 11 year old to cook dinners. It’s $40 per meal but for the 3 of us, I split it in half. So for $20 for a home cooked meal I don’t have to cook? Sold.
• Zero out my email inbox every week. This may sound crazy. On an average I get between 100- 200 emails from work daily, and that’s a light day. I spent 3 weeks over Christmas break getting it to zero. From 3500 emails to zero. But it helps me focus on what’s important and gives me time to do the items above.
• Date night. At least once every 3 months, I am planning on a date night with my John. With all the craziness of all things school, work, and life, that night out is like a breath of fresh air. I know you are thinking, once every 3 months?? It’s a start cause we never plan it before so I am making it a plan now.

So yes, I know I may be crazy, but I am making the most of those ‘little’ moments and trying to make some time ‘ for a few beers with a friend’

Update on Phyllis for February 19^th

Well since it has been a month that I updated you, I will give you the high level details of where we are at today. Phyllis has been successfully set up with hospice.  They are coming weekly.  We have nurses, someone to help with the baths, Phyllis gets a massage and we have a social worker. It did get a little crazy during the transition because at one point in time it looked like a medical supply warehouse in the living room of their house, but we got it all sorted out and organized.  She has had to increase her does of Gabapentin, which is the nerve medication that calms her tremors down. This means she is sleeping more and it makes her groggy. The nurses have warned us that if this dosage starts to get to high or it isn’t controlling the pain, then we have to start her on morphine.  We are trying to do the best we can to not get to the point of using the morphine this quickly because at that time, she will start to sleep a lot more.

This week we surprised her,as I said earlier, with friends from Florida. Julie and Jenna made the journey to Michigan from Florida and thankfully had some sun and warm weather, at least for us in Michigan, follow them. Phyllis was so happy she cried. We have been having a good week this week and for that, I am thankful. It is day by day and if we can have the good days outnumber the bad days in a week, then it is a good week.

I will do my best to try to update the blog weekly again.  I know I have been remiss and some have wondered about her health. As always, feel free to send her pictures, messages on her phone or on Facebook as she appreciates it and loves to hear from you.

Peace, Love and Purple blessings

-L-